Gathering of the Figments

Shaye · Posted: Sat May 26, 2007 5:35 pm Post subject: Best friend.

I feel like I'm losing my best friend.
She has another friend named Ashley, who doesn't like me.
Haylee and I have been best friends for seven years.
Maybe she's getting sick of me.
Ashley is probably a better friend. Crying or Very sad

But Haylee is my best friend. And Ashley is going to take her away. Crying or Very sad

I know she's allowed to have other friends, but Ashley is acting like I should just back off because Haylee's hers now.
_________________
~Shaye

Look. I don't understand half the things I say either.

Hawkins · Posted: Sun May 27, 2007 3:56 am Post subject:

I remember a situation like this in grade school. Lemme think...okay, first lemme tell you that this school was so freakin' tiny that girls and guys had to be friends or else you'd be lonely. Now, there were 4 of us. One girl from fifth grade that I really hated. (Long story short--I pretended to bite her, she spazzed out and I got a two day suspension. Next time I talked to her, she says "do you hate me?" and I said, "naw." and she goes, "okay. But they told me if you ever hurt me again, to tell them and they'll expell you." and I said, "okay. Next time I'll make sure I actually bring physical pain to you by drawing blood." I got a detention for that.) so then a new girl comes along. At first, she seems real nice and such. So the fifth grade girl goes off to be friends with her. I'm happy, but the other two are not. They start being girls--complaining what a rotten friend Whitney is, how she dumped them for the new girl, etc...they got annoyed that I wouldn't talk trash about her, just agree once in a while. So then Whitney gets bored of the new girl and comes crawling back to us. The other two are all forgiving and start to bombard the new girl with all the hate they've got in them. Which I'm surprised wasn't a nuclear bomb. Anyway, so I'm thinking, "these girls are retarded. Why am I hanging out with them? I'm not popular, they just keep me around because they need to hang out with as many people as possible." so I go back to my real friend, Sarah, and she's completely fine with my absence because it gave her more time to get better at Dungeons and Dragons. Today I think she still lives with her mother and is playing Runescape 24/7, so...so anyway, I back up the new girl, (and I had one good comeback, Christina had these humongo sunglasses and I played this staring contest type thing with the other guys where you make an angry face and try not to laugh first...it was stupid.) and Christina says "Least I don't do this all day." and she lifts her sunglasses and makes an angry face. I says, "Glad I don't either. I'd kill myself if I had a pair of sunglasses as ugly as those." and she's like, "grow up." And they kept using lame excuses to bean me with a softball ("I missed it and it just kept going and hit Hawkins in the stomach! Why would we intentionally hurt someone like that?")

Moral of the long, boring story--hateful people are mean. *corny line alert* And if they talk about you behind your back, then chances are they're not your friend.

OMG. *headdesk* It's back. FIGGY IT'S BACK! *runs in circles like a maniac*
_________________

Tyler's on vacation...to CANADA...*sad*

Figment · Posted: Sun May 27, 2007 9:26 am Post subject:

I had a situation like this... in year... 5 or 6?

Anyway, i had this one friend, and we were BEST friends, had been for several years... since we started at the primary school together(she was learning cello, i was learning violin, and we went in for the signing up for that on the same day...) and it was the two of us, and another friend, and the other friend went off and started hanging out with this popular, sporty girl...

And then it was just Suzanne and i for ages, and then there was this other "popular" girl, and she had her own group of followers, but she decided that Suzanne was gonna be her new best friend, so they started hanging out, and i become one of the "followers" cause otherwise i had no-one...

And we were the "Spice Girls" group ( Embarassed

i know

), and depending on how Kristy(the popular girl) felt on any given day, i would either be sporty spice or baby spice, and then this new girl came along, and they gave me a very mean "your are out of our group" note, and so i was alone... but then i became friends with one of the girls who was new to the school, as well as one of the other girls who i had known for ages, been in the same class and all that... And so Jacinta, Sariah and i would hang out, and we would play handball and stuff...

Anyway, what is important is that you are there for your friend if you really do value the friendship, and if she comes crawling back to you, but move on with your life, find someone else that you enjoy spending time with, or whatever.

I know it sounds heartless, but just mention it to your friend, tell her that you will be there for her, because you have been through so much together, but let her know that you are not going to sit around mourning the fact that she is hanging out with this other person.

It sounds mean, but as things go, you will have a few really close friends in your life, and a LOT of friends who you might think are the real deal, but when put to the test, they don't come through for you.

And it is really sad when that happens, but as they say, you have to roll with the punches.

But just talk to her about how you feel, it may just be that she got swept up in getting to know this new person, and not realised that there was anything wrong...

There is always such a thrill when you meet someone that you click with, and people can get carried away.

Also, if it turns out that this is the case, perhaps also mention that you feel that this other girl doesn't like you, and then your friend may say something to her along the lines of "I'll be friends with you, but only if you accept my other, best friend."

Whatever happens, Shaye, know that we love you and care about you, we enjoy talking to you and reading your poems, and at some stage hopefully your novel, and that won't change. We will be here to talk and to spend time with you, and we will always be here to support you.

*Huggles for Shaye*
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Shaye · Posted: Sun May 27, 2007 9:54 am Post subject:

*Huggles Figgy and Hawkins too because he gave advice*

We've been friends since 1st grade. Crying or Very sad

And I know that if I say something like that to her, she's going to say "Shaye, i'm still your friend. I'm allowed to have more friends than just you." and I'll end up stuttering and having tears because that's not what I meant, because she's not just a 'friend', she's a best friend.

My town is so small that there aren't interesting people. Like, I have a bunch of friends, but none of them are as close to me as Haylee, and I can't see myself being best friends with Emily or Jessie or whatever. I really can't.
_________________
~Shaye

Look. I don't understand half the things I say either.

Hawkins · Posted: Sun May 27, 2007 10:50 am Post subject:

We had 600 people in our town. Can you believe that? And 100 in the entire school. Pre-K to eighth grade. I think there's 50 now...anyway...

I gave advice? Splee! Was it good advice or was it crappy?

And to those who say roll with the punches...I say roll with them, then get back up and nail 'em even harder!
_________________

Tyler's on vacation...to CANADA...*sad*

Figment · Posted: Sun May 27, 2007 7:25 pm Post subject:

Perhaps just let her know that you feel a bit of hostility from Ashley, and tell her that you would like for you all to be friends, but you aren't getting very good vibes... And then perhaps Haylee will talk to Ashley, and she might realise that in spending so much time with this other person, she is jeopardizing your friendship with each other...
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Shaye · Posted: Sun May 27, 2007 7:32 pm Post subject:

Ashley hates me. She'll do anything to make sure I'm not friends with Haylee anymore. She's just that kind of person.
_________________
~Shaye

Look. I don't understand half the things I say either.

Figment · Posted: Sun May 27, 2007 7:46 pm Post subject:

Oh... the problem with people like that, is that even though you can see how spiteful and terrible they are, they can still weave their spell over your friend, so that Haylee won't believe you...

Does Haylee know that Ashley hates you?

It sounds very much like what Kristy did though, she stole my friend away, and once she had my friend totally into their friendship, she cut me out of the picture...
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butterflii · Posted: Sun May 27, 2007 11:20 pm Post subject:

Agony aunt time =]

Aww Shaye don't worry, everyone expieriences friendship fall-outs and buddy problems.

My advice is to stick at it for a while, always hang round with them and make sure you put on your best smiles, crack your best jokes, be the most generous you can to remind Haylee of all your good times and what a good friend you are.

Make sure you laugh along with what Ashley says. I know that when you get bad vibes from someone and you feel they hate you, it's EXTRA hard to try and be nice. But laughing along with her, talking to her aswell as Haylee may make Ashlee see the good side of you, in which case you could all be mates together.

Organise some time alone with Haylee, so that she remembers how good a mate you are and realises how much fun she has with you. You'll realise that she's not going off you, she's just getting to know someone else. Maybe invite her over to sleep, or go to the cinema, and bring up all the funny times you've had.

Sometimes, you have to think about it from other people's point of view, Ashley is thinking that she's met a really good mate called Haylee, but she might see you as a threat because you've known Haylee for so long and you and her are such good mates.
Haylee is a bit stuck in the middle, she's got her life-long best friend on one side, and a new girl who she likes too. It's hard to please both when they don't like eachother.
Then there's you, feeling like Ashley is taking Haylee away.

It's a very tricky situation but the best thing to do is put on your best smile. After a long while, if they are still hanging round together and it seems like Haylee isn't interested anymore, then try hanging round with new people, it's never good to limit yourself to one person.
There's a saying;
"Never make someone your everything, because if they leave you have nothing"
If your friend Haylee, doesn't realise what a good mate you are, and doesn't bother hanging round with you then maybe she doesn't value your friendship enough.

Haylee can think for herself too, so try speaking to her about it and telling her that you love her loads as a mate and don't want to lose her.

But whatever happens, you have us shaye =]
Friends that you may never meet, but we'll always be here Very Happy

_________________
Spider, Spider, on the wall.
Have you got no sense at all?
Can't you see the walls been plastered.
Now you're stuck you stupid . . . spider.

Shaye · Posted: Sun May 27, 2007 11:34 pm Post subject:

I already asked Haylee to see Pirates with me, but she went with Ashley. I wanted to have her over to spend the night, she was with Ashley. I wanted to talk to her at lunch, she was with Ashley.

Ashley is the kind of girl who loves to see people like me get stabbed in the back. Haylee's probably talking to her right now about how much of a bad friend I am.

I can never ever be friends with Ashley. We're like black and white. She's giddy and preppy and loves drama, whereas I make people laugh, don't care what people think and I'm all worn out from drama.

WHY in the WORLD Haylee is friends with her, I'll never know.
_________________
~Shaye

Look. I don't understand half the things I say either.

Figment · Posted: Mon May 28, 2007 12:13 am Post subject:

Sometimes people want to try something different out for a while... You know, if Ashley is one of those B**chy "popular" people, Haylee may want to feel... i don't know... special... There is something that makes people feel good about themselves when the popular person starts to want to spend time with them, no matter how that little inner voice may be saying to them that this person has been nasty in the past, they are feeling good about themselves, and they are feeling that this person is just misunderstood...

I can't stand people who back stab, i have been through a similar situation recently, it sucks...

And on another note... WHY can't she go see Pirates again? I am...
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Hawkins · Posted: Mon May 28, 2007 4:21 am Post subject:

I was always caught in the middle of these sort of things. Back when my friend who moved to Europe was still here...She would tell me what a terrible person Christina is, and I'd agree, and then Christina would tell me what a terrible person Andrea was, and I'd agree. I felt I had to agree with them because if I didn't, I'd be without any friends. So I was that little block under the see-saw that kept it moving. So once Andrea moved away, Christina took over the school. She would always get things her way, like when the teacher said "someone do lunch count, please," she'd jump up and say dramatically, "I'll do it." She put the flags up, she could get assignments pushed back (for her only...) she could do whatever she wanted. And then she ended up dating my friend Randy, which I was cool with, until she wouldn't let him talk to me, I'd go up to him, say "hey Randy, want to play football after school?" and Christina would run up and say "no, Randy and I are having a kissing contest after school. If only you could join us. Oh wait, nobody likes you and you've never kissed anyone. So go away." after a while, she started spreading rumors that I was gay and such, so I flashed a knife at her and that was that. She broke up with Randy and fell apart in high school, seeing as she had no control over anyone. I mean, her name got her a few extra priviliges, but she was finally exposed as a stupid, ditzy idiot who had to be in the pre-algebra class in high school. And her reign was over. I mean, I still got stuffed in lockers and had old hamburgers thrown at me, but I was the only kid that didn't get a job at McDonalds or Dunkin Donuts as a cashier. That made me feel special inside.
_________________

Tyler's on vacation...to CANADA...*sad*

Lady Nakara · Posted: Wed May 30, 2007 8:44 am Post subject:

I constantly had friend problems up until I got to high school. In eighth grade, I was the mediator for basically my only friend, who I am no longer friends with, when she got into a sort of feud with her other friends. I had to see both sides of the argument. And that is my suggestion to you, Shaye. Like Butterflii was saying, maybe Ashley sees you as a threat. Try talking to her if you haven't yet. Maybe you'll find out that she's feeling some of the same feelings as you are.

Always remember that you have so many friends here. We can never replace what you share with Haylee, but we are here for you.

lots of love and hugs for shaye!!!!
_________________
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a brik

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butterflii · Posted: Wed May 30, 2007 10:40 pm Post subject:

Don't think of you and Ashley as opposites, yes you may not both be into Drama but you both sound like up-beat kinda people, and after-all you both want to be friends with Haylee right? SO you can't be tooo different.

You must remeber NOT to give up, one of my peices of advice was about asking Haylee to sleep round for a night.